Lucius in the Sky with Draco
by PseudieLee
Summary: Beatles a la Hogwarts. To the tune of "Lucy in the Sky." Frightening. 'Nuff said.


**LUCIUS IN THE SKY WITH DRACO**

**Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds _a la_ Hogwarts!**

**This came out of my head.**

**You should be frightened.**

**(Bonus points of you know who I'm talking about all through the song!)**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

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Picture yourself in a boat on a river with a half-giant and a kid with a frog. 

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, a convict who turns to a dog.   
  


House robes of blue, red, yellow and green fluttering over your head. 

Look for the Snitch with the sun in your eyes and it's gone. 

LUCIUS IN THE SKY WITH DRACO! 

HARRY IN THE SKY WITH RON! 

HERMIONE IN THE SKY WITH CROOKSHANKS! 

NOW MINERVAAAAAAAAAAAAH!   
  


Follow her down to a hat on a stool where magical people eat treacle and pies. 

Ev'ry one cheers as you drift to the tables that put you away with your kind.   
  


Severus Snape appears at your side, waiting to criticize. 

If you talk back with your head in his face, well, you're gone.   
  


DUMBLEDORE IN WOOLEN SOCKS! 

ROWLING IN A CAFE IN ENGLAND! 

MYRTLE POUTING IN A TOILET! 

WAHHHHHHHHH-WAHHHHHHH   
  


Picture yourself at a school on a cliff, with hidden demon dogs that need to be fed, 

Suddenly someone runs into the classroom, the boy with a scar on his head.   
  


LOTS OF PEOPLE HERE HAVE EGOS! 

HARRY, GILDEROY AND PERCY! 

AND THAT'S NAMING ONLY A FEW! 

IIIIIIIIIII RUUUUUUULE!   
  


DRACO IS REALLY A GIRL! 

RON AND HERMIONE FOREVER! 

NEVILLE WILL SAVE THE WORLD! 

HAAAAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAA   
  


Lucius In The Sky With Draco! 

lucius in the sky with draco . . . !   
  


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You like? Of course not. But you'll pretend for my sake, won't you? Pretty please with coconuts?   
  


Ron: Hey! That's not fair! You can't do this! 

Me: What? What can't I do? 

Ron: Well, it's a travesty on the Beatles! 

Me: What do you know about the Beatles, Ron? You're not Muggle! 

Ron: What do _you_ know about the Beatles? _You're_ American! 

Me: Well, you have big feet. We all have our flaws. 

Ron: youhavebigfeet,too,youknow. 

Me: What was that? 

Ron: You can't do this!! 

Me: That's not what you said, and yes, I can! 

Ron: It doesn't even fit! 

Me: Yes it does! I checked it over and over and my mom is really tired of hearing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds! 

Ron: You still can't do it! It sounds dumb and doesn't make any sense! 

Me: You say that like the song made any sense in the first place! 

John and Paul: Hey! 

Ron and Me: You two stay out of this! 

John: Look, we wrote the song! 

Ron: So? What's that matter? 

Me: Yeah, Michael Jackson probably owns the rights! 

Paul: Don't remind me. Any way, if we say she can use the song, she can use the song! 

Ron and Me: So can she/I? 

J. K.: Don't let her! Look what she's done to my work! 

Me: _You_ should be working on The Order of the Phoenix! (What's that mean, anyway?) 

J. K.: Not telling. Go away. 

John: I say she can. 

Me: Yessss! 

J. K. and Ron: NOOOO! 

Paul: Fine with me! 

Me: HA HAHAHAHA! IN YOUR FACE, WEASLEY!! 

Ron: Not you too. 

Me: What? 

Ron: Calling me by my last name! First Malfoy does it, then it rubbed off on Potter and Granger. 

Me: geeIwonderwhy? 

Ron: What? 

Me: What a tragedy, Ron! I'm so sorry for you!   
  


Normally, I wouldn't dare make fun of the Beatles OR Harry Potter, (Oh, yeah right!) But this was just beckoning to be written. Thanks to Secret Spy Betty Sue and Bob the Female Turkey (Who gets very annoyed when you confuse her with Bob the Male Turkey even though she talks about him a lot) for the general inspiration for this whatever-it-is a.k.a. changing the chorus to the song after nearly an hour of making fun of various Slytherins (and Harry. But not Percy.) (Dang.) Oh, and in case you really didn't get it, John is Lennon, Paul is McCartney and J. K. is (as IF you didn't know) Rowling. Nothing is mine. I've stolen everything except the arrangement. That I just took without asking. Treacle (aka molasses) is really gross and can be given back to whoever invented it. And if it really comes down to it, I don't like pie that much either, unless it's fruit. We can give that to my dad who happens to like meat mince pies and stuff like that. And yellow mallard custard dripping from a dead dog's eye is tapioca pudding, and don't let anyone tell you other wise.   
  



End file.
